Never Let Your Noisy Neighbours Know It Was You!
You’re chilling in your humble abode & wishing for nothing more than peace & quiet. Or at least to be able to hear yourself think. And yet, your neighbours are … (fill in the bothersome noise).
Your first, knee-jerk reaction is to “go over there” & make it stop!
Never, ever do this!
Never approach your noisy neighbours during that time when they are being noisy! You’re already angry & so your anger will only escalate during the confrontation.
Even if you are able to remain calm, you could still be placing yourself in a dangerous situation. There have been news articles about people being beaten or even killed while trying to break up noisy parties.
Unfortunately, short term, your best bet is to endure your neighbours’ noise … this time. Wait until the next day & then slip an anonymous note under their door or into their mailbox.
But, Isn’t It More Neighbourly To Have A Friendly Chat With Your Noisy Neighbours First?
It’s true that your neighbours may not know that their noise is bothering you. In fact, they may not even realize that you can hear them.
So, should you forgo the anonymous noise complaint? Every blog, article or website I’ve read certainly advises to have a friendly chat with your noisy neighbours first.
I strongly disagree!
You are assuming that your neighbours are rational human beings who actually care about your well-being. That’s a hit or miss assumption.
Never Let Your Neighbours Know It Was You!
At first glance, this might seem cowardly. It’s not.
Never approach noisy neighbours! Not even once. If you do, then all subsequent complaints, whether they are made by you or not, will be blamed on you.
Shouldn’t protecting yourself & your family trump “being neighbourly”?
If you do approach the noise-maker, you’ll probably regret it for the length of time that you continue to be neighbours.
Approaching your neighbours & criticizing them (even constructively & diplomatically) can cause at best, a cold relationship. Or at worst, you & your family to become the target of ongoing bullying.
You don’t know who these people are. You aren’t privy to their past experiences or transgressions.
Even if you’re an educated psychologist, you haven’t a clue how they’ll react. Are they under duress? Stimulants? Don’t make yourself a target!
Use My Experience To Your Benefit
There was a time when I truly believed that most folks were “good at heart”. Then I spent 4 years on strata council. Noise was, by far, the most complained about violation.
The vast majority of the defendants reacted to the noise complaint by being completely unreasonable. It would start with them explaining what they were doing, “We were only… blah, blah, blah”.
Their next tactic was to demand to meet their “accusers”. Of course, the answer was always, “No”!
Then along came the insults & threats toward the unknown complainant. According to the defendant(s), anyone who preferred peace & quiet in their own home was an uptight, conservative prude who just needed an attitude adjustment.
These defendants truly believed that no one had the right to “tell them what to do”. That it was their inalienable right to do ANYTHING they pleased.
Upon being informed of the inconvenience that they caused their neighbours, they didn’t care. The most important thing to the defendant was their ability to carry on exactly as they pleased without having to edit themselves.
If people live in such a manner that it negatively impacts their surrounding neighbours on a continuous basis, then it’s a way of life for them. It’s a habit. Bad habits are notoriously difficult to break. It’s likely that your noisy neighbours will not change their habits unless prompted to do so – like when they grow tired of paying levied fines or they have to obey a court-ordered eviction.
I cannot state this too strongly: It’s important, right from stage one, to be clever & take the precautions necessary to keep your identity secret. In the beginning, you have no idea how far this situation might escalate.
There’s no advantage for your noisy neighbours to know who they’re bothering, only what they’re doing to be bothersome.
Your best bet is a well-written anonymous noise complaint.
– Robin Rumble
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